With love and sorrow but also with the greatest gratitude for all Truthness, Beautiness, Goodness and 'Thijsiness' that he has given us, we, Madeleine, Winfried, Gwen and Daan had to take farewell from our brave, sweet little Thijs after almost fourteen years of intens togetherness.
Thijs Vidar Parcival Deijmann - 13 y.o.
* Norway, Oslo, August 9th 1988 - † Holland - Zutphen, May 24th 2002
Our Thijs died at home amidst us four in all peacefullness
Smiling you look down on us
happy and with joy
Your life was a sunbeam
filled with light, no shadow
You were a Prince
And now a King
-Gwen-
Ritual and Cremation: Tuesday May 28th - from 14.15 pm until 15.00 pm - at the Crematorium Dieren
At his cremation. on Tuesday May 28th at 15.00 pm, more then 200 people, children and adults were gathered to pay their respects and take a final farewell from Thijs. People who has helped us over the years, teachers, therapists, nurses, doctors, friends and family. People who, all in their individual way, gave a bit of themselves and received something from Thijs in return.
These words were spoken by me, Winfried at the cremation of my dear son Thijs Vidar Parcival Deijmann
The ideal life exists
A couple of years ago I had a very precious experience with Thijs.
Thijs needed an operation at the Radboud Academic hospital in Nijmegen Holland. Being one of his parents I was allowed to accompany him to the anaesthetic room and there sitting on my lap he received the anaesthetic. It has been proven that children, who receive anaesthetic in the presents of a trusted one, sleep and wake in a much more peaceful manner. At the moment that Thijs lost consciousness it seemed for a short moment that a 'second' Thijs was in my presents, one asleep on my lap and the other -so it seemed- that had left his body. I have no other words to describe what happened there. From that moment onwards I had the feeling that Thijs accompanied me on my walk through the hospital and the gardens. It was a feeling that Thijs was safe and secure, free from harm, together with me.
After about two hours, at the moment that Thijs regained consciousness his presents was gone. Returning to the recovery room I was approached by one of the nursing staff, who said: "you're just on time, your son has just regained consciousness." That was however old news for me.
What I'm trying to describe here is an experience priceless in nature, a gem in itself. In a way Thijs had temporarely taken farewell from his physical vulnerable body while in me grew the certain awareness that he was with me; I carried him with me on my walk through the gardens. From that moment on I realized for the full hundred percent and never forgot it, that Thijs would always be present, even after his death - one day.
Normal farewells cause pain, but surely when you realize that the person in question will never return, never more to hear and never more to touch…
What hurts so deeply when a loved one dies, is the realisation of the irreversibility of it. I belief there is no deeper, more intense experience of Truth than at that moment. But irreversible is not the same as unreachable. We, as family, shall not make this mistake.
Because somebody who dies is truly present and accessible.
In the 14 years that we cared for Thijs and Thijs for us, we have often poised the question: Is this good for anything? Does this make any sense at all? Now there is no more doubt about that.
Thijs has given us almost twelve years to attain the answer to that question, for which we are so gratefull. But he has also given everyone else in his proximity countless gifts, gifts that contain the answer to the question of meaning and purpose of his life. Some gifts were clear to the receiver, like mine, others have yet to unfold. I received my greatest gift a couple years ago while Thijs was undergoing his operation in the Radboud hospital, a gift that gave and gives me the strength to carry on and to be as valiant as he.
So, where is the meaning in all of this?
Meaning is, that Thijs was capable of gathering so many people around himself, that experiences with him now have become memories of him in all of you. Meaning was not just found in those thankful laughs and his typical Thijs ways but also in feeding him, changing his nappies, washing his frail and infected body and embracing him in his moments of epileptic attacks. It was found in those sleepless nights, his hospitalisation; but above all, in the choices that had to be made, choices that became more and more difficult..
The answer to this question of "meaning" is inherent within the question itself. Thijs gave us literally food for development and inner growth by confronting each of us again and again with this question.
......
For the sake of his, mine and your inner growth and development I stand here to tell you this.
I must finish something Thijs can't do himself.
First and foremost I stand here telling ye that Thijs is still in contact and reachable. Not via Internet and e-mail or complex login procedures but via a system far superior. A system that makes direct contact, always works, never falls out and without delays: via the heart. Thijs is always on-line via the heart. Remember that.
The second is a request.
On behalf of Thijs, Madeleine and myself I want to address a request that will quarantee that Thijs' life was meaningfull and purposefull.
We would like everyone to embrace the questions, feelings of love, intentions and energy, which have been called upon you by Thijs. We would like that everyone will use this inner richness for reflection and potential development, making you flourish and giving new meaning and impulse to your life. If this be the case, this life of Thijs has been one terrific party!
......
Thijs, you shall be missed for a very long time, your laughs, your whistles and your very special Thijs ways. But you have left us with a wealth of feelings of love towards you, a true gift. And this shall by myself, by Madeleine, by Gwendolyn, by Daan, Grandpa and Grandma and everyone that had grown to know you, be transformed into heart felt feelings whereby righteousness shall be our goal.
Out of this we will gain strength. And there is nothing more wondrous than that gift that you have left us.
Thank you very much dear Thijs!
......
Thijs came forth not only through us, Madeleine and Winfried;
Thijs also came forth from God
Thijs also died in Christ
And in de Spirit reborn and reborn and reborn is he.
Thijs sails in his little Viking ship to the world of the stars where he now slowly arrives and awakens.
Fare well dearest Thijs
Fare well dearest Thijs
Fare well dearest, dearest Thijs
From Mamma, Papa, Gwen en Daan
Dieren, Holland - May 28th 2002
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